Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14
Is forgiving God unthinkable, or is this one subject that could at most consume us? Can we dare say we will forgive the creator, the redeemer of all? On the other hand…just look around. Terrible events occur on a routine basis and Christians aren’t exempt.
Looking back, I can see I’ve been angry with God. I started out well as a new Christian and then faltered: not mature or grounded enough to make the kind of choices I would have liked to. I couldn’t just skip being a young adult and go directly to maturity. I wanted Him to protect me from trouble; yet when I hit dead ends I was angry, not seeing that He was protecting me. . I pounded on doors that were closed for good reason and was unable to see good choices I could have made. I ignored red flags, thinking I was persevering, not realizing I was running farther from home and grace. Spiraling into anger and fear, I muscled my way through church attendance; yes, following rules, but distancing myself from Him. It was disappointing that God didn’t make my path clearer, that He didn’t make me wiser and stronger.
I can’t explain the struggles all humans face, including Christians. I can only speculate: Could it be that God loves us because of and not in spite of our humanity? Could it be that only in the rough and tumble of following Him in the world as it is, that we can become truly human and truly beautiful? I can now realize that I wanted a bubble wrapped life, protected from making mistakes and from being vulnerable. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble” and He meant it – no exceptions. No one likes getting lost and hurt; but I now realize that God was showing mercy in allowing me to make mistakes, to be disappointed, and to learn. “Thank you, God, for letting me feel emotion as I look back on how I’ve experienced and navigated life. What began as an exercise in forgiving You has become a healthy time of my confession without shame. I can accept how you’ve worked in my life, and accept myself as I have been and have become, showing the same patience and love toward myself that you’ve shown toward me.
Taylor Swift – this is me trying (Official Lyric Video)
Nichole Nordeman – You’re Here (Lyric Video)
by Sherry Sommer
