Today I wrestled with a paradox in my soul. I know that my leadership is stronger, my love deeper, my heart more compassionate, and my life is more glorifying to God when I spend time with HIM. I know that I am more efficient, more logical, more sensitive to people If I only spend Time with Jesus. YET I struggle. The noise of life and the weight of tasks often cause me to rush through my time with Jesus OR skip it all together. When I do the spirit shouts inside my skull this loving plea. “You know its for your good that I want to spend time with you.” Yet I often don’t listen. So today I wrote this poem as I wrestled through this paradox.
the strangest struggle I have is when
my soul won’t feed on You
I know that You have concurred sin
but life’s evidence won’t do
My soul both seen and not fall short
of your completed tasks
Yes why would my life fail in court
when you forgave the last
O wilting mind why do you faint?
what inconsistency?
when sin and circumstance assault your gate
Why don’t you run to He
Who left the clouds of holy bliss
to pull you from your shame
and more the save He gave you this
the Spirit to remain
He offers you his unmatched power
it dwells inside your soul
turn now to Him, why do you cower
does sin have such a pull?
It is finished he said upon the cross
he paid for all of this
so lift your head he paid the cost
to bring eternal bliss
Run fast, sore high, for you are son
He gave HIS feet and wings
shake off the weights of what you’ve done
in you His glory sings
He shan’t forget to give you grace
He must it is His way
He will not let you leave the race
for His sake he’ll help you stay.
Oh glory be to you my King
For now reminding me
Your work on my behalf will ring
Oh how can such things be