Recently I re-read a portion of my Aunt Josephine’s life story. She was the middle sibling of five, with my dad being the oldest. The children lost a younger brother early on. Then, when my father was 14, they lost their mother. 

My grandfather relocated to my small hometown in Nebraska and continued caring for his youngsters. Around 1929, he traded his newly constructed convenience store/gas station/motel for a farm. He paid his widowed sister-in-law to house and provide meals for his three girls during the week while working his farm. My dad was 17 and already independently supporting himself. 

One Saturday morning the girls found their father’s family money jar waiting for them. It contained a little cash and nothing else. Their father had simply vanished. (Later searches were unfruitful.)

Their aunt was already stretched thin with four children of her own. Because it was clear to her there would be no more income from my grandfather,
she panicked and issued an immediate ultimatum to the sisters:

“You need to find another place tomorrow.”

There was no time for lament. Social services didn’t yet exist. Aunt Josephine went into heroine survival mode and found immediate placements (doing work in exchange for room and board), in three separate homes for her and her schoolgirl sisters. 

Like many who traversed The Great Depression, few shared their sad stories because the next person likely had a more tragic one and the telling meant re-processing pain and shame.

During our Devotional Team discussion, we considered attitudes and behaviors exhibited by those who have experienced significant losses. Below are a few reasons people delay or even avoid lament.

  • Emphasis on positivity (Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking was my aunt’s favorite book)
  • Fear of appearing vulnerable or weak
  • Meeting an ideal of resilience
  • The possibility of displaying lack of faith or appearing to be a complainer
  • Avoidance of pain or shame or being overwhelmed emotionally 


My aunt used all these coping skills. Her memoir, written in her 70s, was her means of lament – balanced by gratitude – for the life God gave her. 

As we’ve been meditating on scriptures of lament this week, you might have been prompted to assess a loss, injury, or tragedy you’ve recently experienced, or buried in the past. Psychologists say that some of life’s most tragic events sometimes take decades for victims to recall, plus, to get help from trusted confidants, to dig up, face and process life. 

Re-read Lamentations 5. Ask God if He wants you to journal or talk with a trusted friend about a sad life experience. An alternative might be to prayerfully give the gift of listening to a relative or friend who may never have told their story of lament. Be gentle. Watch for God’s presence in the midst of the story.


by Kathleen Petersen