If you’ve got two kids (or more), you work extra hard to make sure everything is *exactly equal*. If one gets more spaghetti, more Christmas presents, or more money from the tooth fairy … it’s utter desolation. Left short, they are convinced they are unloved. Just sad orphans in this cold world.
The truth is this: parents adore each of their kids with the intensity of a thousand suns. But no matter how hard they try, just one accidental extra Skittle means, “YOU LOVE ‘EM MORE!”
We try, but some differences between the kids can’t be remedied (like birth order); the first kid is always going to have that First Kid Energy. They are the first achievers. The bold ones. Their bond to the parent is the first,and the original. They understand things you have to be old enough to understand.
The second kid can’t compete with that. Second Kid Energy heads directly south. Maybe they are the artsy one, or the entertainer, or maybe the black sheep. Somehow, they create a brand-new game — one the first kid never even considered.
When do you realize your kids are growing up? When the competition between them starts to cool. The older sister starts sharing her toys instead of hiding them in her room. Maybe in middle school, the big brother protects his little sister from a bully.
As a parent, you see some unforced act of generosity like that, and you just quietly step back and smile. You don’t wreck their moment. You quietly bear witness to the goodness you see developing in them.
In Jesus’ story of the Prodigal Son, the father is faced with the Two Child Dilemma; he must go to extremes to show each child that they are loved equally. It even appears from the text that the father gave the other half of his inheritance to the First Kid — who wasn’t even asking for it. No judgment. No strings attached. He just showered both with an inheritance they did not earn.
Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.” Luke 15:11-12 NIV
But in God’s family budget, when He showers us with gifts of so much love, it’s with the understanding that we will take those gifts and multiply them.
So he called ten of his servants and gave them ten minas. ‘Put this money to work,’ he said, ‘until I come back.’ ” Matthew 25:12-13 NIV
If we direct that love and generosity only to ourselves like the younger son, we end up losing the whole bank account. And conversely, if we grip tightly to our portion — jealous that God shares with those who don’t even deserve it — we lose our shot at multiplying it. And in doing so, we also lose our shot at unifying the family.
This week, give God the satisfaction of some unforced act of generosity. Let Him watch you quietly, so He can slip back behind the door and just smile at who you are becoming.
by Carie Grant
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