What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses,
    “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
        and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”

It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. Romans 9:14-16 NIV

Have you ever had doubts about God’s goodness? Have you ever wondered why God allowed something to happen in your life or in the life of a loved one? When we have these kinds of questions or doubts, what do we do with them? Ignore them?

Let me give a little background. On June 13, 1998, our youngest son Joshua was born via an emergency C-section because his heart rate dropped, and he was in distress. His lack of oxygen during birth caused a severe brain injury called cerebral palsy. This was a defining moment in our marriage and family; nothing has ever been the same since. Both my husband and I had our faith in God shaken because of having an extremely needy special needs child, in addition to our
5-year-old and 3 ½ year old twins who were already a part of our family.

Both my husband and I dealt with questions of: why did God allow this? Why doesn’t God heal him? Is God good? Because of our young family, and our son who had constant medical needs, we processed our grief over the birth of our son over the course of many years. We also met with some more mature Christians who helped us work through our questions and doubts. It took time, but eventually we came to a place where we could give our questions to God, leave them there, and trust in Him that He had a purpose for us, for our family, and for our son exactly as he was. Many of our questions won’t be answered on this side of heaven, just as Job’s questions were not answered. He said during his grief, But where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell? …”The fear of the Lord-that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.” Job 28:12, 28b.

Job talked to God; as did Jeremiah. He tells us, “Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.” Lamentations 2:19. Doubts, grief, questions are all a part of a Christian’s life. One of the messages I value in the book of Job and in Lamentations is that God welcomes our honesty. He wants us to come to Him with all of it. Job and Jeremiah both knew God — that God is God, and I am not. God is the source of wisdom, mercy, and love, even amid difficult and grieving circumstances. My husband and I came to the same conclusion. Take some time to read this story in John 9:1-41. Let the Holy Spirit speak to you as you read. Look for God’s compassion, notice the difficult circumstances and who recognizes God working. Thank God for His mercy and compassion.

by Grace Hunter

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