Iron Sharpens Iron | Proverbs 27:17

Transcript is automatically produced. Errors may be present.

Well, good morning, South Good morning. How are you guys doing today? One person is doing good? Wow. Theresa was right. A couple kids and they’re great. Well g- good morning. Welcome. We are so glad that you are here. If you’re watching online, thank you to you as well. For those of you who are new or visiting, my name is Sean, and I am one of the pastors here.

I have the distinct pleasure of being able to work with our student ministry.

And it is something that I deeply love. I love being able to pour into the lives of the students as they also pour into mine, that we can continue to grow as apprentices of Jesus, living in His way, with His heart, and bringing about His kingdom here. And I’m gonna share a little bit about what my passion for youth ministries is rooted in.

But before we do that, I know that we just prayed, but I’m gonna go ahead and pray for us again, that we would just have open hearts to what the Spirit has for us, and that He would be with me in sharing that heart for this body. So let us pray. Father God we are just so thankful for Your presence here.

Holy Spirit, I pray that we would be mindful of You and the things that You are pointing out to each of us individually. You know our hearts and our minds. You know the ways that You are working on and in us, and the way that You are looking to shape and form us, God. And so right now, we come before You and we just pray that we would be able to lay aside all of the, the distractions and all of the to-do lists, the things that can take up space in our minds, and just be fully present to the message that You have for each of us individually here today.

We love You. Amen. Amen. All right. So my passion for student ministry really started with my own youth group experience growing up. As a young student growing up in church, I was heavily involved in my youth group. It was incredibly important to me, and it was pr- a profoundly formative time in my life.

I was surrounded by some of my best friends. I was taught and challenged, and I learned and I grew. I had incredible mentors, men and women who were pouring into me and walking alongside me as I was growing and learning the ways of Jesus. I was encountering Jesus and I was becoming more understanding of our Father’s deep love for me.

Needless to say, student ministry has been a major part of my life. To be honest, I never really left. Even graduating out of our youth ministry, I just continued to return. And I was free labor, this free intern for my youth pastor, and that quickly transitioned into me just being one of the adult leaders and interim youth pastors.

That has just continued to always be a part of these student ministries. And a lot of those moments and those friendships and those memories of being taught and being challenged and learning and growing have been coming back to me recently, flooding back. And the reason why is because my youth pastor, who was a pa- a major part of my life growing up, was recently diagnosed with a devastating condition.

It was incredibly difficult news to learn of when I heard about it several months ago. It really shook our community and brought about a ton of sadness, if I’m being honest. But it also opened up a time for me to be reflecting on just how great of a man he was and all of the great ways that God used him, not only in my life, but in so many other lives over the course of his ministry.

And so a, a group of us decided that we wanted to commemorate this legacy, this impact that he has had on so many generations, so many lives that he has helped form and point to Jesus. And so we set about reaching out to all of our friends on Facebook and text messages, finding everyone that we could spread all across the country to put together pictures and notes of encouragement to Z Man and the family, letters of deep appreciation and gratitude, highlighting all of the, the different ways that he had worked in their lives.

And earlier this week myself and a group of us were able to come together with him and share it with him. You can see this book full of pictures and all of these incredible moments captured in the way that he had impacted our lives. And with faces sore from all the laughter and sharing of memories and shenanigans, reflection on all of the things that he had done, how he had pointed us to Jesus and modeled that in such beautiful ways.

The impact that he has had on our faith and our calling, words can’t really describe it, but we did our best. And I know with all certainty that his legacy will continue to impact myself and those around us for generations, and that is an incredible way that God has used this man for his kingdom And as I was leaving, I was sitting in my car Tears welling up in my eyes as they are now.

And as I was driving home, this quote continued to come back to me that I had heard that I think perfectly captures the moments that we got to share together. And it’s this from Dr. Joseph Hellerman, “We either grow together or we don’t grow much at all.” In my y-youth room at Grace Chapel where I grew up, there was this big pole, like w-what we see here in the center of this room.

It was painted white, and when seniors left, there was a tradition of us signing that pole. I was very short growing up, and so at the very bottom of the pole, I still remember what I wrote to this day. “There was once a young boy who was this tall when he started going here, and this place made him grow.”

We don’t– We either grow together or we don’t grow much at all. It’s a very true statement, and I can see so many different examples of it in my own life. Or put another way, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” This is the proverb that we’re gonna be taking a deeper look at here together this morning.

You can see that the language is a little bit different. Hellerman says that we grow together. Proverbs here is saying that we sharpen one another, but the reality of those concepts are really quite similar And so as we look at this, this proverb which I know many of us are probably really familiar with that familiarity, I think it’s really important to pause and to reflect on it.

Otherwise, it can become just another cliché that we pass right on by. So let’s do that together today. Take a deeper time of reflection on this incredible proverb. And the first point that comes to mind is that as we grow together, tying those two statements together, is because God designed us to sharpen one another.

He didn’t call us to grow in isolation or on our own, but to– He’s designed us to be in community, to sharpen one, one another. And I know that our personal relationship with God is incredibly important, that we continue to grow with and towards Him and understand His deep love for us. But that the important thing for us to remember is that we’re also called and designed by God to do that together.

And it doesn’t escape me that some of this is very similar in theme and topic to some of the things that I taught about the last time I was on this stage. I shared about a lot of shifting and growth and transition and shaving away that had been taking a part– taking part in my life. And I am so very thankful for the people and friends and mentors in my life who have walked alongside me during and through that process.

That we would find great encouragement in the fact that we don’t have to do all of this alone. That as we grow to be more like Jesus and live in His ways with His heart, that we can come together and learn and grow together, support and encourage and challenge each other as we are going to see here

And it’s funny to me I know Theresa already mentioned this during the announcements, but how ironic is it or interesting is it that we’re talking about this proverb ironing iron sharpening iron, people sharpening another as we have the lobby buzzing with tables and people giving information about all of the different ways that we can get involved here at the– this, in this body here at South through Next Step Sundays.

Because if we’re not engaging in these ways, if we’re not getting connected to groups, if we’re not forming these relationships, then we are gonna be on our own doing it. And so just like Theresa, my invitation to each and every one of us is to go out there and to have conversations, to find where we might be get– where we might be called to get involved, to pray over those things and see where God might be leading us.

Because it is in those places and spaces that God’s work really shines. If coming to South and being a part of this body only includes Sunday morning at a specific time in this room, then we’re missing out on so much of the beauty that comes in community and where we can actually grow together in spaces outside of just this one

So returning back to our proverb, as iron sharpens iron. This is something that we’re all very familiar with. But sometimes I wonder if we actually take some time and reflect on it. Are we as familiar with it as we might think we are? And maybe another question is, are we okay with it as much as we might think that we are?

Because sharpening is a process. It’s not a moment. This is a process that we have to engage with, that we have to be intentional about engaging with it. It’s a process that is continuous, never ending. There’s always gonna be need for continued sharpening, continued refinement. As we live our lives out in the, this world and we’re going along the way, things can get dull.

And so we need to go through that process again and again. Some of you might know I really enjoy cooking. But one of the things I do not enjoy about cooking is knife sharpening. It’s an incredibly important thing to do because if you don’t do it, these very important tools of the kitchen are gonna get dull and not perform the function that they’re meant to do.

But it stresses me out a little bit. Am I making the knife sharper? Am I making it more dull? It’s a process. It takes time. I have to do it over and over again so that this tool can be used and function exactly the way that it has been designed. As iron sharpens iron, this is a process.

It’s not a moment. And I think this passage in Hebrews 10 succinctly gives us some language and ways to think about this process, particularly as it applies to us here at South or as a part of his body. So let’s read it together. Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope that we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching

I think relationally as it pertains to walking with God and understanding his love for us and the way that he is working in our lives and in the world around us the invitation is always that we would be drawing near to God that our heart would be drawn to his that we would continue to grow in that relationship and that would all be based and predicated on the faith and hope that we have in him that we would continue to seek him with sincere hearts and to go about that we would hold unswervingly to the hope and faith that we have in him and that is promised.

This word unswervingly is to be steadfast, to be fixed to be focused on the direction that we’re going, that we wouldn’t veer off to the side, that we wouldn’t allow the world and people and places to– and things that wanna take priority in our life to take our attention away from that drawing near to God But we don’t do it alone.

We do it together. God has designed us to do it together in community. And so he says, and Hebrews continues, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Let us spur one another on And I think that this is a really good place to bring up the reminder that Aaron and those who have preached before me on this series have reminded us of each week that proverbs are short pithy or memorable sayings about how the world generally works.

They are principles not promises. They’re principles not promises. And I think as it pertains to this specific proverb, the sharpening process that we’re invited to together-

That it’s important for us to remember that sharpening requires friction, and friction is not always comfortable, is it? How many of you guys go about your daily lives looking for places and spaces to feel friction or feel discomfort? Couple of laughs would indicate that’s not the case. And so when we look at this proverb, that it’s the way that things generally work, that it’s a principle that generally works, we have a part to play in whether or not we engage with that.

‘Cause if we don’t understand that sharpening requires friction, and we don’t engage with that, then we’re just gonna be avoidant of it. And when we’re avoidant of it, that’s where the proverb is gonna break down. That’s where the principle is not going to work because we’re not engaging in the actual process And let us consider how we may spur one another on.

This word spur in the Greek, it’s easy to look at this word and just replace it with the, the word encourage one another toward love and good deeds. But the, the Greek definition holds much more weight in this word than just encourage. It means to be pro- It’s more provocative than that.

It’s to stir something up. It’s to challenge. It’s to lead someone to. There’s l- more of an action in it. And so that’s where I think the friction can come from, when we’re stirring something up. It’s not always something that’s super comfortable, but I don’t think that’s what we’re called f- to, that the Holy Spirit isn’t asking us to keep every one of us comfortable in these moments, but instead to spur each other on.

And so then what are we spurring each other on? It’s to love and to good deeds. These are the guardrails of what it is that we’re spurring each other towards. If it’s not towards love, and if it’s not towards good deeds, then maybe the friction that is in those relationships that you’re experiencing is the kind of friction that we should be avoidant of.

But if it is biblically true and in, and spurring us towards love and good deeds in the way of Jesus with the heart of Jesus, then those are the guardrails in which we would spur each other on What biblical sharpening is not is important to also recognize because I think sometimes we can confuse some of these things and, or think that we’re doing one thing when we’re actually doing the other.

So it’s important to reflect on the posture of our hearts in these moments. It’s not winning arguments. It’s not just entering into the friction or tension of this conversation with the sole intent of being able to win the argument because you feel like you are right and they are wrong. Because what happens if you were wrong and they were right?

Then we both have to be engaged in that process, and there can be sharpening there, but it matters on our heart posture as we enter that space. Sharpening is not just simply pointing out flaws in other people, especially when it comes to the act of comparison. If I’m just pointing out your flaws so that I can feel better about myself, then my heart posture is not towards good deeds and love.

It’s about making myself feel better about my own current situation. It’s a, a question of pride or ego in that moment, not one of love and truth. Biblical sharpening is certainly not living a confrontational lifestyle, but if you’ve been around enough churches for a long enough time, you might have run into certain individuals where it feels like they just want to be battling everyone in the world all the time, and then framing it as l- I’m just here to be sharpening other people,” but really it’s just more of the confrontation and the winning of the arguments that they’re focused in.

And it’s certainly not forcing someone to always think like us, ’cause again, what if we have the skewed view? What if there’s something that needs to be sharpened or removed from us? And so if we can keep these as our guardrails and spurring each other on towards love and good deeds, then I think the sharpening process is gonna be good and healthy.

I guess put another way, the test of good sharpening is this, does this increasingly move us towards love and Christ-like action? Can we look at what it is that is the desired result from the moment of tension or sharpening and friction, and is that gonna make me understand Christ’s love more? Is it gonna make me understand His ways and His heart more?

Then that is the test of good sharpening So then we go on to verse 25, and I think that this is a- another important place for us to pause and reflect. It says, “Not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing.” Now, the author doesn’t explain or give a lot of detail as to why this group of individuals, this audience that he’s writing to, is giving up meeting together, why they formed that habit.

Perhaps it’s because of persecution or apathy. Maybe it’s because they have competing priorities in their lives, or they’re returning to old culture and traditions and ways of Judaism. We simply don’t know. But if we were to look at different examples in our own lives, our own context, as we’re looking at it related to this process of iron sharpening iron, and whether or not we’re engaging with it or if we’re avoiding it, I think that there are probably some contextual examples in these places that we might feel hit a little close to home.

‘Cause I think if you’re anything like me, at times when we experience conflict, we withdraw. Or if someone challenges me on a belief, I withdraw. Or if a church disappoints you, you might withdraw. Or if someone says something that you don’t agree with, then our natural reaction might be to withdraw. To give up meeting together becomes the habit that we have in those spaces But we’re called to something different.

We’re called to be encouraging one another in those, those moments, to be drawing each other back into those places and spaces where we can continue to grow with each other, to be reminding each other that this is where and how God continues to form us, even in the moments of the tension and the friction, that this is a process, that it doesn’t happen overnight.

We have the invitation to encourage each other all the more and bring us back into these spaces, to extend invitations to those that are new, to reach out to those who have been absent for a while

And when we do this, the way in which we do it is seen here in Ephesians that we’re speaking the truth in love and that when we speak the truth in love, from Him, the whole body joined and held together by every supporting ligament grows and builds itself i- up in love as each part does its work.

So again, a lot more evidence and guidance and guardrails on how we go about this sharpening process, that we’re speaking in truth and that we’re speaking that truth in love. And then the whole body joined together, held together by all the different supporting components of this body, grows and builds itself up in love as each of us do our own work.

This is the process of sharpening together in truth and in love

As I was reflecting on this passage, there was this quote that came to my mind specifically around the friction that it can create in us and whether or not we’re okay with sitting in those spaces. If we’re avoiding those spaces, then we’re not going to have these moments where w- where true friends are actually working in positive ways in our lives.

But I love this quote from Oscar Wilde, “True friends stab you in the front.” And I’m actually– I came across this quote in an essay from this author and artist who I follow, Josh Nadeau. He did the, the piece of art there as well. And he wrote this little essay, and I thought about trying to paraphrase it or just pull out the most meaningful points.

But I’ve decided to just read it to you in full, because I think he captures this so beautifully, especially as it pertains to iron sharpening iron. So let me read this to you here. “True friends,” says Oscar Wilde, “stab you in the front.” Which reminds me of, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

True friendship is loving. True loving desi- desires the good of the other. The issue is we all have areas where the good is the last thing on our hearts and minds. So what does a true friend do? Gossip? Malign? Manipulate? Take advantage of? No. A true friend stabs you in the front. A true friend tells you your weaknesses, loves you enough to do it face to face, and then remains with you as you heal and grow.

It’s the only way I can trust them. Or sorry. My closest friends, the ones who I truly know have my back, have stabbed me in the front. It’s the only way I can truly trust them. We live in a time of consuming and oppressive compassion, where any flaw is swept away, any rebellion is kept hush-hush, and every bit of our selfishness is explained by understanding our situation.

True friends, the ones who have your back, who will journey with you through hell or high water, desire your best, your absolute best. And because of that, they w- they will do you great harm. They will be honest with you and call you into your destiny. They will stab the selfishness, the lust, the hypocrisy, the jealousy, and the cynicism right out of you.

Don’t settle for anything less, and do not be any less. A true friend will always love. I just love the way that he captures this process of iron sharpening iron. One of the lines that stands out to me most there is that when they stab you in the front and they do it face to face be out of love and truth, that they also stay with you to help you heal and grow.

That they’re with you through that entire process. We see a very similar sentiment to this in the Psalms here in 141. It says, “Let a righteous man strike me, for that is a kindness. Let him rebuke me, that is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it, for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers.”

Do you see this? This invitation, this vis– this– these different visions of being stabbed in the front or these hard and difficult moments of things being shaved off. This is the process of iron sharpening iron. It goes so much deeper and is so much profound than the cliche that it can often be used as a slogan for specific events And so the invitation is for us to understand and reflect on what it might look like to let a righteous man strike us and do we see and know and understand that to be a true kindness for us in our growth and transformation

Sharpening requires friction, but we are invited to commit to the process. I think that is the invitation here, that we are invited to commit to that process because it is a process, and it does absolutely take commitment. There are gonna be so many different moments and times when you find yourself in spaces of community, when you find yourself in relationships where this friction exists and where righteous individuals are being good and true friends and lovingly pointing you in a direction that God would have for you.

We’re invited to commit to that process, and commitment it’s going to take because one of the other elements of iron sharpening iron that we have to be aware of is that for something to become sharper, something has to be removed. There’s friction, and now there’s removal. There are parts of us that are gonna have to be shaved away

Therefore, we need to be committed to the process. And what is being shaved off, we can see a, a picture demonstrating it here. Sparks flying as the head of an ax is being ground down so that it can once again return to its full function as a sharp tool, doing exactly what it was designed to do.

Things have to be removed during this repeated process in order for it to continue to do its job well. For us, what might that look like? There’s probably an entire list that I’m missing here, but some that jump to mind right away is pride being confronted. Implicit just in the definition of pride, that feels really uncomfortable.

Nathan shared on pride just a couple of weeks ago of thinking improperly of ourselves. We’re either thinking too highly of ourselves or too lowly of ourselves, but in those moments, people might come to us in good and honest truth and love and confront us with That’s gonna be shaved away. Blind spots being exposed Things that I have no vision for.

Maybe I am operating from a limited frame of reference, and so someone else can come alongside me and share with me something that comes from their experience that I have not yet had. And so those blind spots are revealed, but that can be a really uncomfortable position to have those be shaved away.

Sin being named. This is the one that comes to mind from an accountability perspective of friends stabbing you in the front. I don’t know why. This is the one that just seems to really align with that for me, because it feels painful to have a dear friend in loving concern come to you and say, “I’m seeing this in you, and I know that God is calling you away from it.

How can I help you heal and grow and move beyond it?” Or maybe it’s just as simple as comfort being disrupted, that we don’t wanna do that thing or step into that place that we’re being called to, and someone’s giving us the invitation and encouraging and spurring us on to do it. But it requires work. It requires sacrifice.

It requires engaging in something that doesn’t feel comfortable to me, and so I would rather just not do it. Maybe that comfort is what’s being ground away so that we can be more sharp for his kingdom

It all really comes down to this, that the discomf- discomfort we feel in relationships is often the very tool God is using for our transformation. That when those things are being sharpened and ground away when they’re being removed from us, th- that is how God continues to form us, how He continues to transform us.

But it’s never gonna feel comfortable to have those things removed. We see this in all different examples of our lives. In order to grow and be transformed and gain something, it requires work and discomfort and sacrifice. In athletics, you see it all the time in the training and the hard work that goes in at practice or in the gym, at work, studying so that you can continue to grow in your skill sets.

School, doing all the homework and the essays so that you can grow in your understanding and be transformed in those ways. It’s the same here, that as God is working in our lives, it takes work, and that discomfort often is what God is using to help produce that transformation But in order to be committed to this process, this commit- being committed to the process of removing things and discomfort, I would submit that we also have to have an incredible amount of humility because without it, that friction that we’ve just been looking at produces division instead of formation.

Without a, a humble heart, without understanding that this is how God is using other people to make me grow and transform, to call me out on things, if I don’t have that humility then the fractures in the relationship are what is gonna be the result The questioning of the motives of the individual instead of understanding that their intent is pure and in love.

Or maybe that withdrawal that we saw in Hebrews of just “I don’t want to engage with this. I’m gonna avoid it and just walk away.” But if we have a humble heart, if we know that God is using these places and spaces and people to form us, then that is where that friction and the removal helps bring sharpness to our lives.

So we have to g- get beyond those barriers of those things that often get in the way, pride and ego, defensiveness, whatever they might be. ‘Cause all of it results in Christ-like transformation, greater love, greater truthfulness, and greater usefulness in God’s kingdom. As we always say here, in the way of Jesus with the heart of Jesus.

As it says here in 2 Corinthians 3:18, “And we all who are– with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is in the Spirit,” through the work that He is doing in a community like we have here at South. And so from an application standpoint, what does this look like for us?

How do we engage in it if we want to move beyond this familiar cliche and think about, “Okay, am I engaging in this in the right way?” Then I think we have to ask ourselves the questions, are we inviting sharpening in our lives? Are we surrounding ourselves with people that we are giving permission to do that, that we’re living in close enough proximity that they can be able to see and name the things that need to be shaved off?

Who have we given this permission to? And if we aren’t in those spaces or types of relationships, how do we get connected to them? And then when we’re there, we have to know that we need to stay when it’s uncomfortable. We can’t leave at the first sign of friction. And that those things that are being shaved away are being shaved away with purpose, that is God’s work and doing and transformation in our life.

What is it that He’s looking to remove, and are you willing to release it? I think this comes by way of expanding our circle. Are we only with those that are comf– that we’re comfortable with agreeing with? Do we surround ourselves who say and think the exact same things as us, or do we actually engage with individuals who have a different frame of reference or m- more wisdom or experience in certain areas that might be challenging to us, but maybe I should pause here and kinda lean in and invite the conversation to see what God might have for me in it?

And then when we’re doing all of these things, as we are sharpened and as we are sharpening others in this community, that we do so with grace. in truth and in love as we see the directive in Ephesians

I know for me, oftentimes a question that I’m asking myself is like, “God, where is it that you want me to be growing? Where are you working in my life? How are you transforming me?” But this proverb invites us to expand or add on to that question that I know so many of us have brought before our good Father, and in th- what areas are you trying to help me grow, and who is it that you’re using to help accomplish that growth?

Can you bring them into my life? Can you open my eyes and my heart to it? Can I be humble in that process? Because we can’t do it alone. As Dr. Hellerman reminds us that we either grow together or we’re not gonna grow much at all