We’ve been examining Romans 4 and how having children (or not) affects our sense of hope for a fruitful future. Today’s aspect of that future is old age and death.

He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. Romans 4:19-21 ESV

For various reasons, people of faith might lose heart when facing advanced age: with no children to provide them with a sure legacy or safety net should they fall into a dependent or debilitating condition. How can someone in that situation avoid despair? Let’s first consider the elderly widow Anna, featured here when Mary and Joseph brought the infant Jesus to the temple with them:

There was also a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old, having been married to her husband for seven years until his death. She had lived as a widow since then for eighty-four years. She never left the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. At that moment, she came up to them and began to give thanks to God and to speak about the child to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem. Luke 2:36-38 NET

Although this event highlights Anna’s holy occupation, I’ve often wondered where she ate and slept.  Did she sleep in a small space or even outdoors? Was she viewed as an outcast?

This brings me to the topic of elderly, and/or incapacitated people living in small spaces in facilities called “assisted living” or “nursing homes”. Since I’ve observed my mother and mother-in-law in those facilities, I comprehend why many people dread them. They are usually a final destination for the “good as dead”. What if you face such a destiny? How should you prepare?

I remember Gladyce who turned her last days on earth in my mother’s Nebraska nursing home into a holy occupation. Gladyce married late, her husband passed away, and she had no children. When she was in her mid 80s, she could no longer walk or live alone because of a hip issue. She had been a Christian for many years, and her determination to make the most of the rest of her life was undeniable.

Gladyce chose to share her small, sparsely furnished room with a blind lady who needed her company. Gladyce had also organized a dining room group (of other elderly women living in the facility, whose minds were still sharp), leading daily discussions of current events and faith topics. Those discussions eased the boredom that sets in after entering such an environment.

Gladyce also kept a stash of trinkets and candy for children. When my 5 year old daughter accompanied me for visits with my mother, she’d make a beeline to Gladyce’s room for a long chat. Other residents reached out, desperate to touch my daughter, but Gladyce’s thoughtful plans drew my child to her.

Application:

Although those such as Anna and Gladyce who are in the habit of praying for and giving to others are never “as good as dead”, not every elderly person with no spouse or children has developed a servant heart like Anna or Gladyce. Some, like my mother, suffer from dementia or other conditions that severely diminish capabilities they once exhibited.

Let’s guard against increasing cultural pressures to view the elderly or incapacitated (including ourselves) as excess baggage or “as good as dead” Take a look at present and oncoming pressures to end seemingly unproductive lives. Ask Jesus to search your heart and show you his mind on these matters. This long article tracing the evolution of Canada’s MAID law alongside official church views of the law may inform that search. This map shows the advance of those ideas in the U.S.

Just recently I heard of two high school seniors who received long awaited news about applications to their desired institutions of higher learning. Although they had worked hard and met the many goals it took to qualify, the results were not the ones they or their parents hoped for. There was a time I might have sent this condolence:

“God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.”

The above phrase was likely derived from the verse below. However, the word used in Romans 8 is “purpose” rather than “plan”. For me, that word choice makes a vast difference. God’s “purpose” does not limit him to a rigid set of worldly goals or “plans” to guide us where he wants us to go.

…we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose… Romans 8:28 NET

As parents, it has sometimes been a challenge for my husband and I, not only to encourage our daughter to follow Jesus, but also for us to avoid taking the role of the Holy Spirit in determining her precise vocation. The following story in the lives of Abraham and Sarah reminds me that we are not alone in discerning where our responsibility lies.

If you want to fully understand the event highlighted below, the backstory is found in Genesis chapters 11-20. Like many of us, Abraham and Sarah fumbled some crucial faith decisions. The result was that Abraham ended up with a spare slave wife (Hagar) as well as a spare, surrogate, older son (Ishmael). By the time Abraham and Sarah had the son God promised (Isaac), Abraham had invested a preponderance of his fatherly affection, energy, and training on his surrogate son.

The child [Isaac] grew and was weaned. Abraham prepared a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned. But Sarah noticed the son of Hagar the Egyptian—the son whom Hagar had borne to Abraham—mocking. So she said to Abraham, “Banish that slave woman and her son, for the son of that slave woman will not be an heir along with my son Isaac!”

Sarah’s demand displeased Abraham greatly because Ishmael was his son. But God said to Abraham, “Do not be upset about the boy or your slave wife. Do all that Sarah is telling you because through Isaac your descendants will be counted. But I will also make the son of the slave wife into a great nation, for he is your descendant too.” Genesis 21:8-13 NET

This part of their story reflects how the dreams of all human parents for their children can get out of focus. Just as Abraham had developed a strong, emotional attachment to Ishmael and envisioned his destiny, we too might hope God will meet our aspirations for a treasured child.

As Christian parents, we are both responsible and privileged to take the primary role in providing Godly guidance and care for our children in their formative years. But the Holy Spirit independently confirms his destiny for our adult children. Still, parents are called to pray for their children as well as provide influence toward God’s purpose for them. Ultimately parents must trust God for the outcome even if, at times, the path of an adult child appears dubious.

Do you have a treasured child, now an adult, in whom you have invested a significant amount of your emotional energy? Has that individual not yet met your estimate of their kingdom potential? That person may not be your biological child, but your affection may be strong. Focus on a photo of him or her as you pray for that person’s place in God’s kingdom. Ask God to give you his peace.

Every culture has ‘hot button’ issues from a persistent set of controversies existing in all cultures and time periods – especially those involving marriage and sexual ethics. These concerns touch some of our deepest longings and conflicts.

In the historical period just prior to and during Jesus’ public ministry, there were sharp disputes about marriage and divorce between two leading teachers of Judaism. These disputes took place between the school of Hillel the Elder (having a lenient interpretation of scripture) and Shammai and his school (with a more strict interpretation).

In Matthew 19:1-15 the Pharisees asked Jesus a question about divorce that reflected these disputes. When they asked him to interpret Deuteronomy 24:1-4, they were testing Jesus against these preeminent teachers. The Deuteronomy passage begins:

If a man marries a woman and she does not please him because he has found something indecent in her, then he may draw up a divorce document, give it to her, and evict her from his house. Deuteronomy 24:1 NET

Although Jesus’ complete answer in Matthew 19:1-15 is most like Shammai’s view, Jesus redirected his answer to the core of the dispute by revealing a hidden reason men sought religious permission to divorce their wives:

Jesus said to them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hard hearts, but from the beginning it was not this way. Matthew 19:8 NET

What a remarkable insight about hard heartedness — how it evokes passages in Genesis which reveal God’s original design for marriage. This answer seemed either to satisfy or silence Jesus’ examiners.

It’s worth discovering or exploring again what Jesus meant when he said “from the beginning it was not this way”. In the middle of heated arguments between present day religious experts, Jesus is still the master of marriage and sexual ethics.

Are you frustrated with contemporary tales of tangled, broken relationships or even ones of your own making? It might be refreshing to observe less complicated relationships in the natural world of animals. Spring is here. Birds and other animals are pairing up. Take a walk or drive to a place where you can spot their activities. If you can’t get outside, watch a nature program. Meditate on the timeless simplicity God shows you, and take your frustrations to him in prayer.