I am a maximizer; and as such I am often stirred by the need to take perfectly good things and make them great! In a more positive light, I can also take things that appear “fine” and “passable” and make them dynamic and more productive. My strive to make things “better” is a quality that has served many of the organizations I’ve worked and volunteered for; and yet, it has also been my biggest challenge as I often spiral in regret, comparison, shame, and the constant feeling of inadequacy.
Several years ago, my husband, Matt, and I went to a marriage retreat centered on the StrengthsFinder© personality assessment and learned that my number one strength was “Maximizer” while Matt’s was “Positivity.” It made so much sense why our primary source of tension comes when I feel things could be better than “good” while he thinks they are already “great!” In building our home, our family, our ministries over the years I have been determined to pursue greatness. The measure of success has sometimes been determined by others but has largely been determined by me.
And then, in all that exhaustion and desperate striving I am startled by the overuse of the words: “I,” “my,” and even, “our.” When did my kingdom become primary, my efforts become supreme? I am thrust into the garden of “Genesis 3”, and I’m seeing Eve in my reflection. I am seeing the desire to know and claim the evaluation of “good and evil” as I build my own kingdom – becoming “like” God (v.5).
Genesis 3 (click to read full text in NIV translation)
Here are the lines that stick out most to me:
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so, I hid.” 11And he said, “who told you that you were naked? [For emphasis.] Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” 12The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” 13Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Genesis 3:8-13
It seems they were always naked. It was awareness, evaluation, competition and judgement that entered humanity.
And, thus, we inherited shame. We learned how to blame and shift uncomfortably in our hand-made efforts at concealing exposure. While we are always naked before the Lord, we now see our limitedness in being truly good –- our weakness in the face of evil. We constantly make compare with others — even our fellow collaborators in the Kingdom (coworkers, family, partners).
What, then, is the answer to shame and sin? Is it guilt? Conviction?”
I leave you with words from the Prophet, Micah.
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 NIV
Take time today to reflect on the way you have been evaluating your life, your work, the “things you build,” and see if you are making decisions based on shame and comparison or on justice, love and humility.
Blessings as you listen to the Holy Spirit and discern what God can only and truly claim as “good.”
by Kris Thulson
