Start Your Journey
Individuals are not allowed to teach, diagnose or even drive a car without a license and hours of training. But, today, people can marry and become parents without any preparation whatsoever. Many families struggle, unfortunately finding so few family resources. Young couples are not given an official manual to marriage after leaving the altar and no parent leaves the hospital with a “how to” manual for a new baby.
The good news is people have been creating happy and successful marriages since the beginning of time. Also, children have been successfully raised feeling loved and fairly well-adjusted for a similar amount of time. Loving marriages and peaceful parenting are possible. But, struggling families must understand where they can find the family resources necessary to help them in their times of need.
DON’T BE AFRAID
A CALL FOR HELP
A family should develop a healthy understanding of their personal resources. Individuals need to understand what is considered “normal” and when is the time to call for reinforcements. If an individual grew up in an unhealthy environment, it may be more difficult for them to detect lack of health in their family.
If you are married or a parent and wonder whether or not you need to seek outside help, consider the following signs you need to find family resources.
- you do not feel physically safe in your home.
- you do not feel emotionally safe in your relationship.
- you or your kids have to “walk on eggshells” to keep one family member from getting angry or upset.
- there is excessive alcohol, drug use, or other addictive behaviors happening in the house.
- you are unable to provide for the basic needs of yourself or your children.
- fear is a part of your daily life.
- words are often used like weapons meant to hurt instead of help.
- you or another family member is being sexually abused or if you suspect abuse in any way.
- physical force (hitting, biting, scratching) is used during escalating arguments.
No family is perfect. It’s ok to struggle and fight from time to time. But, if any of these behaviors accurately describe your family on an ongoing basis, consider getting help. On the other hand, here are some signs of a healthy family.
- love, grace, and kindness are shown on a daily basis.
- arguments happen, but don’t escalate often.
- individuals feel physically and emotionally safe within the home.
- family members have their basic needs met (food, clothing, shelter).
- trust defines the family relationship.
- Your family would consider themselves stable (emotionally, financially, physically).
4 Places to Find Help
If you are looking for family resources, consider the following places to find the help you need. Asking for help may be difficult, but staying in a dangerous and hurtful family situation is even worse. If you need help as a parent or in your marriage, make a plan to reach out this week.
There are many ways you can find resources for your family. First, you need to determine if your family is in need of resources. Most times you know something isn’t right with your family. Typically, you can feel that something is broken and needs help. Once you determine this, the next step is to find the resources you need to help fix what’s broken.
Help is found in multiple places. It is up to you to reach out and take steps towards fixing your family need. Friends and family might want to help, but it is only when you ask for assistance that they will feel open to offer insight.
TRANSFORMED | Transformed: Families | Matthew 5:3-12 | Week 9