I am a horrible writer. Like, I just spelt horrible wrong and had to fix it. That was the forth word in my first blog. I don’t think I am that bad at developing content, I simply don’t do spelling and grammar (again, I struggled with the word grammar). Even though my lack of grammatical skill and my seeming inability to spell prevents me from enjoying the writing process, I need to write.
I am what some people call a verbal processor. In fact I am a fiercely verbal processor. Its as if ideas don’t formulate fully until they are spoke. I have always been that way but it wasn’t long ago, maybe a year, when I heard one of my favorite preachers say, “I must write.” John Piper described writing as his attempt to complete thoughts and think clearly. He has written dozens of books but he said he usually writes for himself. I don’t recall all the reasons he gave but the idea stuck in my mind. I don’t know if it occurred to me at the time but he was pointing me to my verbal processing outlet.
You see, one of the most frustrating things for a verbal processor is the lack of a listening ear. In order to think a clear though it requires that you either talk to yourself OR that you have someone to talk to. Its a heavy burden to be on the receiving end of a verbal processor. You must listen and remember that almost everything you hear is incomplete thought. It droves most people crazy.
A few months before I had heard John Piper say that he, “must write.” I has started blogging. I didn’t know why but my mind was so much clearer. I think he had explained why for me. I was verbal processing as I wrote. I don’t write like a writer. That actually explains most of my spelling and grammar challenges. I write fast and off the top of my head, as if I were speaking the words onto the page. I don’t often slow down enough to determine if I am making any sense in written form. I communicate fairly well verbally, correcting my mistakes as I go, but I can’t do that as well as I write. If I slow down enough to catch errors, it’s less “verbal” in nature.
If you are still reading, you are starting to think, “he is just giving me excuses for his poor grammar.” Well, that might be partly true but in reality I am processing right now. So If you read this or not, it wasn’t fully for you anyway.