I have head knowledge about how to walk with God well. I have experienced seasons of deep fellowship with Jesus but not always. Sometimes I can’t get enough spiritual coffee in my soul to wake it up to the wonders of my salvation. These are the scariest moments for me because I am not flagrantly sinning or burning with spiritual passion I am simply BLAHHHH. Have you ever felt that way? So how do I deal with that situation? Most of the time I don’t deal with it very well. I just live in the blah and move on to the next thing. I read my bible for a while in the morning looking and hoping for some spiritual defibrillator paddles to jump start my heart. I give in a few good shocks, “CLEAR….BZZZZZT! CLEAR…BZZZZT” and then I give up and move into my day. But when God is so gracious to remind me I use few techniques that help me slow down.
These tools are designed to preach the gospel to my own soul. This is important!!!!!!! The Gospel is where the life is at. That is true NOT JUST for an unbeliever. The gospel is the message that gives a human soul the energy to spiritually function well. Dwelling on a passage that clearly lays out the gospel helps. Singing gospel centered songs helps. But one of the ways that helps me the most is writing poetry. Writing by it self helps me too but poetry is even better. Why? It slows me down. I am feeling under the gun to get to the next thing. When I write poems expressing to God my frustrations and then reminding myself of the gospel It slows me down enough to taste the gospel again.
So this is a poem I wrote to God and to my own soul today after feeling like I just couldn’t start delighting in him:
Get Me Going God
Oh how weak is my desire
Though my head does know the way
Can I not hitch your feet and fire
To the wagon of my soul today?
I want and need to be uplifted
Higher than my fleshly state
And I know that you have lifted
I must simply rest in it.
But husband duties and fatherhood
Practically don’t see the change
Why does my knowledge always fail me
When it should lift and change my frame
God show me quickly in fast paced world
The beauties of your gospel sweet
It is the precious refined gold
That moves my deadly heart to beat
I was and am apart from you
Deserving of the flames of hell
But grace, mercy, and hope too
Was what you had my soul to tell
Yes I without your work for me
Am weak and poor and lame and sick
But with you I fly fast and free
The gospel is your greatest trick
Today I stand on shoulders broad
Spread out upon a bloodied tree
I will by grace live today load
Declaring all you’ve done for me
Okay I am ready.