Today I wrestled with a paradox in my soul. I know that my leadership is stronger, my love deeper, my heart more compassionate, and my life is more glorifying to God when I spend time with HIM. I know that I am more efficient, more logical, more sensitive to people If I only spend Time with Jesus. YET I struggle. The noise of life and the weight of tasks often cause me to rush through my time with Jesus OR skip it all together. When I do the spirit shouts inside my skull this loving plea. “You know its for your good that I want to spend time with you.” Yet I often don’t listen. So today I wrote this poem as I wrestled through this paradox.

the strangest struggle I have is when

my soul won’t feed on You

I know that You have concurred sin

but life’s evidence won’t do

My soul both seen and not fall short

of your completed tasks 

Yes why would my life fail in court

when you forgave the last

O wilting mind why do you faint?

what inconsistency?

when sin and circumstance assault your gate

Why don’t you run to He

Who left the clouds of holy bliss

to pull you from your shame

and more the save He gave you this

the Spirit to remain

He offers you his unmatched power

it dwells inside your soul

turn now to Him, why do you cower

does sin have such a pull?

It is finished he said upon the cross

he paid for all of this

so lift your head he paid the cost

to bring eternal bliss

Run fast, sore high, for you are son

He gave HIS feet and wings

shake off the weights of what you’ve done

in you His glory sings

He shan’t forget to give you grace

He must it is His way

He will not let you leave the race

for His sake he’ll help you stay.

Oh glory be to you my King

For now reminding me

Your work on my behalf will ring

Oh how can such things be