To say that the last few months have been a journey of faith is a ridiculous understatement. Over that course of time, I have decided to leave a job that I love to follow God’s call to become Senior Pastor of South Fellowship Church in Littleton, Colorado. I couldn’t be more excited about this new step in this journey for me vocationally (being a senior pastor is something that I have aspired to for a while) and for our family. Although God’s direction was very clear, it was still an excruciating decision to make. We have so many good friends here in Escondido, a great church that is extremely supportive and encouraging, and the Pacific Ocean that beckons us. But, we decided to follow the call and are so glad that we did!
As the journey began, everything seemed to be falling into place. I met former employees of South who could only say good things about the church. I preached at South and felt completely at home. And, we sold out house in 5 days! All of these things and more served as confirmation for us that we were indeed following the Lord. Things seemed to be falling into place in miraculous ways. Our was due to close on May 30th and we were driving to Colorado on June 1. The timing couldn’t have been better. And then, the rug got pulled out from under us…
I got a phone call that telling us that (because of the type of loan our buyers had) our house appraised for $20k less than what we sold it for. Devastating! All of the timing that we were praising God for was out the window. The fact that we were actually going to walk away with some money in our packet, non-existent. The ease of timing, a thing of the past. One of the hardest parts of the past few days has been wrestling with the reality that so many of the things that we viewed as confirmation from God that we had made the right decision had vanished into thin air. To be quite honest, I was left reeling – emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I started to get chest pains and this morning I had to take my once-a-decade voyage to the doctor to make sure everything was ok. Luckily my EKG revealed that nothing was wrong – I guess I’m just stressed out.
There are a few things that I have learned from the rug being pulled out from under me:
- It’s easy to worship the “rug.” That transition happens so subtly in us. God blesses us with good things and slowly our allegiance gets tied to the gifts rather than the giver.
- I have to remember that decision making is more about following the call of the Holy Spirit rather the signs of things falling into place exactly the way that I want them to. Undoubtedly God is using this situation to shape me more into the image of Jesus.
- I have to constantly strive to remember that my sufficiency is in God. Should he give me nothing else, he has already given me enough. He is good, and he is for me.
And so, even in the trial and the storm I will remember that he hasn’t changed. He is good and I will cling to Him.